A Wednesday With No Rain Is A

My Friend Has Hand Soap That Smells Like Coconut. It's Nice. Unless Your Hands Are Dirty From Coconuts.

Someday I Will Tell My Grandchildren That I Lived In The Era When Ok Was Abbreviated To K.

When Telling A Story About How Wasted You Were Last Night, Stop.

Sometimes If I Really Want To Get Someone's Attention, I'll Start A Sentence With Something Like, "i'm Not Racist, But..." I Say, "i'm Not Racist, But You Look Great Today." They Say, "that Wasn't Racist At All." I Said, "i Know. I Said I'm Not Racist. You Never Listen. Typical Mexican."

But Long Story Short, I Didn't Start Doing Stand-up Because I Wanted To Have A Tv Show Or Be An Actor Or Even Wanted To Write Sketch Comedy. I Got Into Stand-up Because I Love Stand-up.