A Summary Of Every Jewish Holiday: They

My Mother Kept The House Clean And We Ate Good. I Didn't Know We Were Poor Until I Started Giving Interviews.

Eating Takes A Special Talent. Some People Are Much Better At It Than Others. In That Way, It Is Like Sex, And As With Sex, It's More Fun With Someone Who Really Likes It. I Can't Imagine Having A Lasting Friendship With Anyone Who Is Not Interested In Food.

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."

A Summary Of Every Jewish Holiday: They Tried To Kill Us, We Won, Let's Eat!

I Just Never Saw My Mother In Any Other Room But The Kitchen. There Were Always Pots Going.