I Think One Of The Big Things

When I Get Up In The Morning, I Have To Decide What I'm Going To Have For Dinner Or I Can't Get Through The Day.

My Son Says I Never Tell Stories About Anyone Who's Living.

You Know You Are Getting Old When People Tell You How Good You Look.

Milton Took Vaudeville, Which, If You Look Up 'vaudeville' In The Dictionary, Right Alongside Of It, It Says 'milton Berle' - And He Made It Just A Tremendous Party.

Banks Have A New Image. Now You Have 'a Friend,' Your Friendly Banker. If The Banks Are So Friendly, How Come They Chain Down The Pens?