A Lot Of People Ask Me What

If You Go With Marshall Mcluhan's Theory That The Medium Is The Message, As Soon As You're Hosting A Blooper Show, You're Done.

Met A Girl The Other Nite And Told Her- Before You Can Be With Someone You Have To Know The Value Of Yourself. So Does $200 Seem Reasonable?

My Father Once Told Me, And It's Stuck With Me To This Day: As You Walk Through Life, Every Time You Fart It Pushes You Forward.

A Lot Of The Comedians Don't Even Tell The Joke. Like Only Three Tell The Joke, The Rest Of Them Dissect It.

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?