A Lot Of People Ask Me What

I'm A Believer That When One Door Closes Another One Opens. But Why Does The One Opening Always Hit Me Full-speed-knob-first Into My Nuts?

The Squirrel In My Yard Really Knows His Way Around The Neighborhood.

I'm Doing 5000 Seat Theaters And Audiences Are Going Nuts, It's Fantastic And It Makes Me Very Happy. I'm Dirty, But Not Like This; I Just Do Comedy That I Find Funny. I'm Working On A New Tv Show For Cable And It's Not Set Up Yet.

When You Have A Good Time There Is No Time.

A Lot Of The Comedians Don't Even Tell The Joke. Like Only Three Tell The Joke, The Rest Of Them Dissect It.