A Hotel Room All To Myself Is

If You Want To Have Sex With Strangers, You Have To Do It The Old Fashion Way And Become A Prostitute.

The Challenge Is To Keep It Fresh. If You're Talking About Britney Spears Over And Over, It's Very Hard To Keep That Interesting.

Is Heather Mcdonald Your Best Friend? You Better Get A New One.

It's Been My Experience That People Who Make Proclamations About Themselves Are Usually The Opposite Of What They Claim To Be. If Someone Is Truly A Loyal Friend, Then They Wouldn't Need To Broadcast It; Eventually, People Will Figure It Out. I Have A Lot Of Good Friends And Not One Of Them Has Ever Introduced Themselves By Saying, 'i'm A Very Good Friend.'

I Didn't Become A Comedian To Work This Hard.