A Hospital Bed Is A Parked Taxi

He [groucho's Father] Had Absolutely No Training, And If You Had Ever Seen One Of His Suits, You'd Realize What An Accurate Statement That Is. You See, Pop Never Used A Tape Measure. He Didn't Believe In It. He Said He Could Just Look At A Man And Tell His Size, With The Result That Frequently He'd Make A Pair Of Pants With One Trouser Leg Seven Or Eight Inches Longer Than The Other.

She's Afraid That If She Leaves, She'll Become The Life Of The Party.

Patience Is The Art Of Finding Something Else To Do.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Cry And You're Probably Watching The Wrong Channel.

I Read In The Newspapers They Are Going To Have 30 Minutes Of Intellectual Stuff On Television Every Monday From 7:30 To 8. To Educate America. They Couldn't Educate America If They Started At 6:30.