A Burrito Is A Sleeping Bag For

I Thought My Teeth Were White Until I Washed My Face With Noxzema. My Teeth Are Off-white. I'm Not Even White. I'm Off-white. It's A New Race; We Will Prevail!

I Have An Oscillating Fan At My House. It Goes Back And Forth. It Looks Like The Fan Is Saying "no." So I Like To Ask It Questions That A Fan Would Say "no" To! Do You Keep My Hair In Place? Do You Keep My Documents In Order? Do You Have 3 Settings? Liar! My Fan Lied To Me. Now I Will Pull The Pin Up. Now You're Not Saying Anything!

One Time A Guy Handed Me A Picture. He Said, 'here's A Picture Of Me When I Was Younger.' Every Picture Is Of You When You Were Younger. 'here's A Picture Of Me When I'm Older.' 'you Son Of Bit, How'd You Pull That Off Let Me See That Camera. What's It Look Like'

People Think I'm Into Sports Because I'm A Man. But I'm Not Into Sports. I Like Gatorade, But That's About As Far As It Goes. By The Way, You Don't Have To Be Sweaty And Play Basketball To Enjoy Gatorade. You Can Just Be A Thirsty Dude. Gatorade Forgets About This Demographic!

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.