You're Only As Good As Your Last

No Animal Should Ever Jump Up On The Dining-room Furniture Unless Absolutely Certain That He Can Hold His Own In The Conversation.

Vegetables Are Interesting But Lack A Sense Of Purpose When Unaccompanied By A Good Cut Of Meat.

I Prefer Dead Writers Because You Don't Run Into Them At Parties.

When I Started Publishing, I Got Offers To Write For Big Magazines. But I Would Always Say, "well, It's Not That I Don't Want To Write For These Big Magazines, But You Can't Edit It."

If You Feel The Urge To Write, Just Lie Down And Read A Book: It Will Pass.