You're Not A Patriot Unless Even When

New Rule: You're Never Going To Pick Up Women At A Coffee Shop Pretending To Be Working On Your Laptop. You Don't Look Like You're Sensitive, You Look Like You're Homeless.the Last Guy To Pick Up A Chick With An Apple Was Adam. And When You Sit Across From Another Dateless Loser With A Laptop, It Still Doesn't Look Like You're Working--it Looks Like You're Playing Battleship.

The Great Thing About Having Been Poor Is How Liberated It Makes You If You Eventually Become Rich. There's Nothing Like The Knowledge That You Don't Need Money To Survive. That The Money Cushion You Lie On Every Night Doesn't Have To Be Three Feet Thick, And You Can Still Get To Sleep.

Religion Is Defined As Belief In And Worship Of A Controlling Power And Atheism Is Precisely Not That.

Just Honest. To Me, Being 'politically Incorrect' Means The Opposite Of Being Political -- Which Means To Spin Everything. That's All It's Ever Meant To Me. It's Never Meant Liberal Or Conservative. It Means Honest.

You Know, If You're An American And You're Born At This Time In History Especially, You're Lucky. We All Are. We Won The World History Powerball Lottery...