You'll Never Get A Boyfriend If You

If You Ask Where A Relationship Is Going Too Often The Question Has A Habit Of Turning Into Where The Relationship Went. Unfortunately, However, God Has Given Women An Inbuilt Irresistible Urge To Insist On Knowing Where Their Relationships Are Going, And To Force Their Partners To Discuss The Matter At Length Whenever They Are Late For Something.

As Bridget Writes To Her Son, In Bridget Jones' Baby - "if You Just Keep Calm And Keep Your Spirits Up, Things Have A Habit Of Turning Out All Right, Just As They Did For Me."

Tom Has A Theory That Homosexuals And Single Women In Their Thirties Have Natural Bonding: Both Being Accustomed To Disappointing Their Parents And Being Treated As Freaks By Society.

Exes Should Never, Never Go Out With Or Marry Other People But Should Remain Celibate To The End Of Their Days In Order To Provide You With A Mental Fallback Position.

As Women Glide From Their Twenties To Thirties, Shazzer Argues, The Balance Of Power Subtly Shifts. Even The Most Outrageous Minxes Lose Their Nerve, Wrestling With The First Twinges Of Existential Angst: Fears Of Dying Alone And Being Found Three Weeks Later Half-eaten By An Alsatian.