You Will Never Make The Crab Walk

Women, You Overheated Dipsomaniacs, Never Passing Up A Chance To Wangle A Drink, A Great Boon To Bartenders But A Bane To Us--not To Mention Our Crockery And Our Woolens!

If You Strike Upon A Thought That Baffles You, Break Off From That Entanglement And Try Another, So Shall Your Wits Be Fresh To Start Again.

If A Man Owes Me Money, I Never Seem To Forget. But If I Do The Owing, I Somehow Never Remember.

When The Soldier Returns From The Wars, Even Though He Has White Hair, He Very Soon Finds A Young Wife. But A Woman Has Only One Summer; If She Does Not Make Hay While The Sun Shines, No One Will Afterwards Have Anything To Say To Her, And She Spends Her Days Consulting Oracles That Never Send Her A Husband.

To Win The People, Always Cook Them Some Savoury That Pleases Them.