You Will Know You're Old When You

For Gin, In Cruel Sober Truth, Supplies The Fuel For Flaming Youth.

Wit Is Like Caviar - It Should Be Served In Small Portions And Not Spread About Like Marmalade.

I Can't Sing, But I Know How To, Which Is Quite Different.

Having To Read Footnotes Resembles Having To Go Downstairs To Answer The Door While In The Midst Of Making Love.

Of Course, The Age-old Tradition That A Star Must Appear Even If He Or She Is Practically Dying Is An Excellent One, But It Can Be Carried Too Far. I One Played A Performance Of The Knight Of The Burning Pestle With A Temperature Of 103 And Gave Sixteen Members Of The Company Mumps, Thereby Closing The Play And Throwing Everybody Out Of Work. There May Be A Moral Lurking Somewhere In This, But I Cannot For The Life Of Me Discover What It Is.