You Love Me This Much.

Choose Now," He Spat, His Eyes Practically Shooing Sparks. "me Or Him." Gosh,fang, You Romantic Fool," I Said Sarcastically."howw Incredibly Sexist Pig Of You.

I Offered To Pee On Him, But They Said No

Every Other Person In The World Would Have Looked At It And Thought, Max Would Hate This. It Was Girly. It Was Beautiful. It Wasn't Made Of Titanium And Black Leather With Spikes On It. But It Seemed Exactly Right, In A Weird, Heart-fluttery Kind Of Way. And I Really Loved It.

Why Was The Blind Guy Playing With Matches, You Ask? Because He's Good At It. Anything To Do With Fire, Igniting Things, Exploding Things, Things With Fuses, Wicks, Accelerants . . . Iggy's Your Man. It's One Of Those Good/bad Things.

Angel?" I Said. "baby Penguins Eat A Regurgitated Mixture Of Partially Digested Fish, Krill, And An Oily Substance Form Their Fathers' Stomachs. Are You Willing To Eat A Bunch Of Raw Fish And Krill, And Then Barf It Back Up Into A Baby Penguin's Cute, Cheeping Mouth? Like, Every Hour?" Sometimes My Crushing Logic Astounds Even Me.