You Know You're Getting Old When Kids

I Want My Tombstone To Read: If This Is A Joke, I Don't Get It.

When I Go To A Bar, I Don't Go Looking For A Girl Who Knows The Capital Of Maine.

Nothing Is Going To Stop Mike Tyson That Doesn't Have A Motor Attached.

The Truth Is That God Is To Be Found In All Things - Even And Most Especially In The Painful, Tragic And Unpleasant Things.

A Vegetarian Is A Person Who Won't Eat Anything That Can Have Children.