You Know What's Funny To Me? Attitude.

You Throw Your Best Punch, Otherwise Don't Do It.

Half The Battle Is That People Have To Like You Before You Say One Joke, One Bit Of Humor.

When I Got Out Of High School, I Wanted To Be An Actor But Was Getting A Lot Of Rejections. I Was Getting Rejected By Life. My Mother, God Rest Her Soul, Told Me Not To Quit.

When Someone Says To Me, Do You Do Stand-up I Say Absolutely Not. I Like To Think Of It As A Theatrical Performance. With Me The Show Changes Maybe Five To Ten Percent Every Night. Of Course, Whatever I See In Front Of Me And Sometimes I Get On A Little Run About It And It Changes The Show. And My Delivery Is Such That People Who Have Seen Me Many Times Say Gee, I Never Heard That Before. Actually, They Have, But I Might Have Changed It Around.

When I First Went To Vegas, There Were Just High-rollers And Gamblers And The Wise Guys Treated You Great.