You Know What I Hate The Most?

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With Another Man And I Was Crushed. So I Said, "get Off Of Me, You Two!"

Recently, I've Ventured Into The Mammal Family - So That's Good For My Sex Life.

Thinking Up Jokes Is Easy. The Hard Part Is Trying Them Out On Stage, Because You Never Know If They're Funny Until You Get There. Not One Comedian In The World Ever Really Knows.

A Computer Once Beat Me At Chess, But It Was No Match For Me At Kick Boxing.