You Know, I Want To Teach, But

Pie Can't Compete With Cake. Put Candles In A Cake, It's A Birthday Cake. Put Candles In A Pie, Someone's Drunk In The Kitchen.

I Talk Kinda Slow, Especially For The Northeast, So It Was A Way To Beat [would-be Hecklers] To The Punch.

I'm Much More Interested In Making People Laugh Than Getting Applause Breaks.

Some People That Work For Hot Pockets Came To My Denver Paramount Theater Show. They Brought These Hot Pocket Boxes The Size Of Suit Cases For Me To Sign. I Wrote "these Are Wmd's" On The Boxes. The Hp People Seem To Have A Good Sense Of Humor About All Of It.

I Think I Grew Up With The Idea That God Was A Punishing Being, Constructed Around Rules.