You Have Kim Jong Il, And You

The New Cia Torture Report Is 6 Million Pages Long. It's Almost As Long As A George Clooney Pre-nup.

I'm So Excited For My Son. On Christmas Morning I Want To See His Face, To Be There When He Opens The Gifts. I Want The See What My Assistants Got Him For Christmas.

You Can Now Buy A Pack Of Beer Containing 99 Cans. A 99-can Pack Of Beer. Who Says America Has Lost Its Competitive Edge?

The Entire Island Of Martha's Vineyard Has Gone Obama Crazy. There's Even A Cocktail That They've Named After Barack Obama. It's Called The Obamarita. Not To Be Confused With A Cocktail Inspired By John Mccain, The Cosmopoligrip. And Then There Was One A Couple Of Years Ago Inspired By George W. Bush, The Mojidiot. Of Course, There Was The Bill Clinton Screwdriver.

I Vote Democrat Because Freedom Of Speech Is Fine As Long As Nobody Is Offended By It.