You Didn't," John Said, Stepping From The

Did You See Him? I Know The Photo Was Grainy, But He Looks Like One Of Those Death Metal Goth Heads, Or Whatever They’re Called. All Dressed In Black With Long Hair I Took Umbrage At My Mother Describing My Boyfriend This Way. John Was The Lord Of The Underworld. How Else Was He Supposed To Dress?

Oh, Jason, I Couldn't Get My Locker Open...i Know, I Tried Twisting It Right, Then Left, But It Wouldn't Budge. I Guess I'm Just Not Strong Enough. Could You Help Me? Please? Oh, Great. Oh, Jason, You're So Strong... Seriously? That Was Me Now? On The Other Hand , A Guy Was Following Me.

I Don't Do Alcohol. Or Other People's Boyfriends. And Don't You Forget It.

Even If Vampires Were Stupid. Especially American Vampires. They Hung Out In Places Alaric Himself Would Never Have Gone, Especially If He Were Immortal. Such As High Schools. And Walmart.

Sometimes What You Want Is Right In Front Of You. All You Have To Do Is Open Your Eyes And See It.