You Clap. The Censor Wakes Up. We

When You Need To Borrow Money The Mob Seems Like A Better Deal I Think. 'you Don't Pay Me Back I Break Both Yer Legs.' Is That All? You Won't Take My House Or Wreck My Credit Rating? Fine Where Do I Sign. Legs? Fine. You Don't Even Have To Sign Anything.

I Enjoy Bathing, As Many Europeans Don't.

Apple Released The Upgraded Version Of The Iphone 4, Called The Iphone 4s. I Think The S Stands For Suckers.

What We Do Have Is Nothin' But Time. Welcome To The Shawshank Redemption Of Late Night!

Alcohol Ruined Me Financially And Morally, Broke My Heart And The Hearts Of Too Many Others. Even Though It Did This To Me And It Almost Killed Me And I Haven't Touched A Drop Of It In Seventeen Years, Sometimes I Wonder If I Could Get Away With Drinking Some Now. I Totally Subscribe To The Notion That Alcoholism Is A Mental Illness Because Thinking Like That Is Clearly Insane.