You Can't Stay Mad At Somebody Who

You Know, Something Like 90 People Who Have Now Filed To Run For Governor In This Recall Election. They Say There Could Be As Many As 200 People On The Ballot. You Know, It's Really Easy To Run Here In California. All You Need Is Like A Couple Of Signatures, Not Many, Thirty-five Hundred Bucks, You're On The Ballot, Like That. I Mean, What Does It Say About California? We Have Stricter Requirements To Get On 'american Idol' Than We Do To Run For Governor.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Has Been Hospitalized. I Believe He Is Suffering From Homophobia. No, Actually, It Was Just Gallstones, But When They Gave Him The Hospital Gown That Opens In The Back, He Refused To Wear It, He Thought It Was A Gay Wedding Dress.

When President Chirac Gave [president] Bush A Souvenir Statue Of The Eiffel Tower... Bush Said 'this Is Great! A Little Oil Rig!'

President Obama Signed A Bill Preventing Members Of Congress From Profiting From Insider Trading. Didn't You Think That Was Already Illegal?

President Obama's Re-election Campaign Said That This Year They'll Knock On 150 Percent More Doors Than They Did In 2008. Well, Of Course They Will. They Have To. There's So Many Foreclosures It's Tough To Tell Where People Live.