You Can Tell How Smart People Are

One Afternoon A Girl Walked By In A Bikini And My Cousin Janet Scoffed, “look At The Hips On Her.” I Panicked. What About The Hips? Were They Too Big? Too Small? What Were My Hips? I Didn’t Know Hips Could Be A Problem. I Thought There Was Just Fat Or Skinny. This Was How I Found Out That There Are An Infinite Number Of Things That Can Be “incorrect” On A Woman’s Body.

Politics And Prostitution Have To Be The Only Jobs Where Inexperience Is Considered A Virtue.

Confidence Is 10 Percent Hard Work And 90 Percent Delusion.

It Is An Impressively Arrogant Move To Conclude That Just Because You Don’t Like Something, It Is Empirically Not Good. I Don’t Like Chinese Food, But I Don’t Write Articles Trying To Prove It Doesn’t Exist.

Doing One Movie Every Two Years Is About All I Can Handle 'cause, Being The Creator At '30 Rock', My Year There Starts In The Middle Of June And Goes Back Around Until March.