You Can Hear Rumors. But You Can't

Because No, I Didn’t Push Her Away. I Didn’t Add To Her Pain Or Do Anything To Hurt Her. Instead, I Left Her Alone In That Room. The Only Person Who Might’ve Been Able To Reach Out And Save Her From Herself. To Pull Her Back From Wherever She Was Heading. I Did What She Asked And I Left. When I Should Have Stayed.

God, I Am Freaking Out. Maybe He Doesn’t Know. Maybe I Just Look Guilty Of Something And He’s Picking Up On That.

I Wanted To Tell You Everything. And That Hurt Because Some Things Were Too Scary. Some Things Even I Didn’t Understand. How Could I Tell Someone—someone I Was Really Talking To For The First Time—everything I Was Thinking? I Couldn’t. It Was Too Soon.

Maybe If I Forgot Things Once In A While, We'd All Be A Little Bit Happier.

But I Need To Wake Up Somehow. Or Maybe Not. Maybe It’s Best To Get Through The Day Half-asleep. Maybe That’s The Only Way To Get Through Today.