Yes, I'm Going To Be The President

I'm Always Described As 'cocksure' Or 'with A Swagger,' And That Bears No Resemblance To Who I Feel Like Inside. I Feel Plagued By Insecurity.

Sure, I Suffered A Lot. But It's Not Like The End Of The World And It's Not Who I Am. I Lead Quite A Pleasant Life And I'm Able To Divorce A Perceived Reality From My Actual Experience Of Life.

I'm Terrible In The Kitchen. I Was Mostly Raised By My Mother And She Could Cook, So I Never Perfected That Skill. If I Had To Count On My Own Cooking To Survive, I'd Probably Be Thinner.

You Wasted $150,000 On An Education You Could Have Got For A Buck Fifty In Late Charges At The Public Library.

I'm Not The Most Loathsome Man In The World. I've Dropped To Number Nine.