Written On Her Tombstone: "i Told You

Why Would Anyone Steal A Shopping Cart? It's Like Stealing A Two-year-old.

Kids Are Without A Doubt The Most Suspicious Diners In The World. They Will Eat Mud (raw Or Baked) Rocks, Paste, Crayons, Ball-point Pens, Moving Goldfish, Cigarette Butts, And Cat Food. Try To Coax A Little Beef Stew Into Their Mouths And They Look At You Like A Puppy When You Stand Over Him With The Sunday Paper Rolled Up.

People Shop For A Bathing Suit With More Care Than They Do A Husband Or Wife. The Rules Are The Same. Look For Something You'll Feel Comfortable Wearing. Allow For Room To Grow.

Authorities Say Brain Cells May Shrink, But They Don't Necessarily Die. Frankly, I Am Cheered By The Fact That Something Is Shrinking. I'd Be Even More Thrilled If What Was Shrinking Affected My Dress Size, But You Can't Have Everything.

Thanksgiving Dinners Take Eighteen Hours To Prepare. They Are Consumed In Twelve Minutes. Half-times Take Twelve Minutes. This Is Not Coincidence.