Women Don't Ask To Be Raped, But

I Like Trying Jokes And Seeing The Response, And If I End Up Doing It In My Act, It Won't Be 140 Characters. Twitter Is Helpful That Way To Me. It's Like A Message In A Bottle. But A Lot Of Times I Think I Tweet The Stuff I Would Like To Say To Teenage Me.

My Stepfather, John O'hara, Was The Goodest Man There Was. He Was Not A Man Of Many Words, But Of Carefully Chosen Ones. He Was The One Parent Who Didn't Try To Fix Me. One Night I Sat On His Lap In His Chair By The Wood Stove, Sobbing. He Just Held Me Quietly And Then Asked Only, "what Does It Feel Like?" It Was The First Time I Was Prompted To Articulate It. I Thought About It, Then Said, "i Feel Homesick." That Still Feels Like The Most Accurate Description - I Felt Homesick, But I Was Home.

I Commend You On All You've Done For Peta, Wrestling The One-eyed Trouser Snake With Your Bare Hands, Gently Cuddling It In Your Arms, And Nurturing It Back To Health.

Comedy Is About Talking About My Own Experience, And I'm A Woman, And That's My Experience, And Just Because It Isn't Yours Doesn't Invalidate It.

Unvisited Tombstones, Unread Diaries, And Erased Video Game High-score Rankings Are Three Of The Most Potent Symbols Of Mankind's Pathetic And Fruitless Attempts At Immortality.