Wichita Falls, Texas Is Considering Using Toilet

I Wouldn't Touch A Hot Dog Unless You Put A Condom On It! You Realize That The Job Of A Hot Dog Is To Use Parts Of The Animal That The Chinese Can't Figure Out How To Make Into A Belt?

It Is Appalling To Make Jesus Out Of Food! Now, If You’ll Excuse Me, I Have To Go Bake Some Communion Wafers.

Religions Are Maintained By People. People Who Can't Get Laid, Because Sex Is The First Great Earthly Pleasure. But If You Can't Get That, Power Is A Pretty Good Second One. And That's What Religion Gives To People. Power. Power Is Sex For People Who Can't Get Or Don't Want Or Aren't Any Good At Sex Itself.

They're Talking About Banning Cigarette Smoking Now In Any Place That's Used By Ten Or More People In A Week, Which, I Guess, Means That Madonna Can't Even Smoke In Bed.

Things Aren't Right. If A Burglar Breaks Into Your Home And You Shoot Him, He Can Sue You. For What, Restraint Of Trade?