Whenever I'm Stuck In Traffic, I Can't

As Gas Prices Continue To Drop, 28 States Are Now Selling Regular Gasoline For Less Than $2 A Gallon. It's Getting Cheaper To Pump Two Gallons Of Gas Outside The Station Than It Is To Pump Two Squirts Of Nacho Cheese Inside.

A New Study Found That Americans Are Exercising More Than Ever But Still Not Losing Much Weight. Not Good In Fact, It's All I Could Think About On My Jog To Dunkin' Donuts.

According To A New Survey, Almost Half Of The Voters In Ohio, Florida, And Pennsylvania Say That They Do Not Trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans Immediately Got Together And Said, 'ok, This Is A Huge Opportunity For Us. How Are We Going To Screw It Up?'

If People Want To See You, They'll Find You. If They Don't See You On Tv, They'll Find You On The Internet.

Mike Huckabee Said He's The Only Person Who Has Fought The Clinton Political Machine And Won. As Opposed To Democratic Candidate Bernie Sanders, Who's The Only Person Who Fought A Fax Machine And Lost.