When You Work With Your Hands, You

Before They Went On Vacation, Congress Voted To Exempt Themselves From Obamacare. They Gave Themselves A Special Exemption Because They Thought It Was Too Expensive. So The People Who Voted For Obamacare For Us Voted To Exempt Themselves From It. You Know How Doctors Take The Hippocratic Oath. Congress Apparently Takes The 'hypocritic Oath.'

According To The Mayans, The World Is Supposed To End In The Year 2012. Are You Buying That? When's The Last Time You Even Ran Into A Mayan?

As They Do Every Year, Al-qaida Has Threatened To Disrupt And Ruin Christmas. You Know, We Already Have A Group That Disrupts And Ruins Christmas Every Year. They're Called Relatives.

A Historic Operation Occurred Over In Boston. Doctors Successfully Transplanted Tissue From A Pig's Brain To A Man's Brain -- And The Man's Brain Did Not Reject It. That Pretty Much Confirms What Women Have Been Saying About Men.

One Of The Taliban Spokesmen Said They Have Thousands Of Men Who Look Forward To Death Like Americans Look Forward To Living, Which Is Great Because We Can Arrange That. We'll Set Them Up With Death, We'll Continue Living.