When Turkeys Mate They Think Of Swans.

Americans, Too Many Of Them, Take Themselves Too Seriously. You're Going To Get Rapped - By The Viewers, By The Sponsors And By The Network Brass - If You Joke About Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Scientists, Bus Drivers, I Don't Care Who. You Can't Make A Joke About Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, Politicians, Dogs Or Cats. In Fact, Politicians, Dogs And Cats Are The Most Sacred Institutions In America.

The Hollywood Tradition I Like Best Is Called Sucking Up To The Stars.

Talking About Sexual Morality, I Wouldn't Agree That It's Declining, But It's Certainly Changing. Young And Old, We Are Very Much In The Process Of Taking A Fresh Look At The Whole Issue Of Morality. The Only Decline That's Taking Place - And It's About Time - Is In The Old Puritanical Concept That Sex Is Equated With Sin.

Happiness Is Seeing The Muscular Lifeguard All The Girls Were Admiring Leave The Beach Hand In Hand With Another Muscular Lifeguard.

Never Marry A Girl Named 'marie' Who Used To Be Known As 'murray'.