When Turkeys Mate They Think Of Swans.

Happiness Is Your Dentist Telling You It Won't Hurt And Then Having Him Catch His Hand In The Drill.

Anytime Four New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Together Without Arguing, A Bank Robbery Has Just Taken Place.

Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men. But Married Men Are A Lot More Willing To Die.

We Have Two Kinds Of Air: Regular And Chunky Style.

There's Only One Critic Whose Opinion I Really Value, In The Final Analysis: Johnny Carson. I Have Never Needed Any Entourage Standing Around Bolstering My Ego. I'm Secure. I Know Exactly Who And What I Am. I Don't Need To Be Told. I Make No Apologies For Being The Way I Am.