When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough

I Had All The Characteristics Of A Human Being—flesh, Blood, Skin, Hair—but My Depersonalization Was So Intense, Had Gone So Deep, That My Normal Ability To Feel Compassion Had Been Eradicated, The Victim Of A Slow, Purposeful Erasure. I Was Simply Imitating Reality, A Rough Resemblance Of A Human Being, With Only A Dim Corner Of My Mind Functioning

I Felt Lethal, On The Verge Of Frenzy. My Nightly Bloodlust Overflowed Into My Days And I Had To Leave The City. My Mask Of Sanity Was A Victim Of Impending Slippage. This Was The Bone Season For Me And I Needed A Vacation.

I Have All The Characteristics Of A Human Being: Blood, Flesh, Skin, Hair; But Not A Single, Clear, Identifiable Emotion, Except For Greed And Disgust. Something Horrible Is Happening Inside Of Me And I Don't Know Why. My Nightly Bloodlust Has Overflown Into My Days. I Feel Lethal, On The Verge Of Frenzy. I Think My Mask Of Sanity Is About To Slip.

But I Don't Want To Wear A Condom Because I Don't Feel Anything," And She Says Calmly... Glaring At Me,"if You Don't Use One You're Not Going To Feel Anything Anyway.

How Could She Ever Understand That There Isn't Any Way Could Be Disappointed Since I No Longer Find Anything Worth Looking Forward To?