When Someone Loves You It's Like Having

I Will Not Drink More Than Fourteen Alcohol Units A Week.

Dieting On New Year's Day Isn't A Good Idea As You Can't Eat Rationally But Really Need To Be Free To Consume Whatever Is Necessary, Moment By Moment, In Order To Ease Your Hangover. I Think It Would Be Much More Sensible If Resolutions Began Generally On January The Second.

Oh God. Valentine's Day Tomorrow. Why? Why? Why Is (the) Entire World Geared To Make People Not Involved In Romance Feel Stupid When Everyone Knows Romance Does Not Work Anyway. Look At (the) Royal Family. Look At Mum And Dad.

It's Amazing How Much Time And Money Can Be Saved In The World Of Dating By Close Attention To Detail. A White Sock Here, A Pair Of Red Braces There, A Gray Slip-on Shoe, A Swastika, Are As Often As Not All One Needs To Tell You There's No Point In Writing Down Phone Numbers And Forking Out For Expensive Lunches Because It's Never Going To Be A Runner.

I'm No Good At Anything. Not Men. Not Social Skills. Not Work. Nothing.