When I Was Young, Boys Didn't Type.

Very Few People Possess True Artistic Ability. It Is Therefore Both Unseemly And Unproductive To Irritate The Situation By Making An Effort. If You Have A Burning, Restless Urge To Write Or Paint, Simply Eat Something Sweet And The Feeling Will Pass.

There Are Two Modes Of Transport In Los Angeles: Car And Ambulance. Visitors Who Wish To Remain Inconspicuous Are Advised To Choose The Latter

The Good Thing About Being In Someone Else's Apartment Is It's So Much Easier To Leave Than It Is To Get Someone Out.

Luckily When You Drive A Cab There Are Two Things: You Don't Have A Boss In The Cab With You, And You Are Not Facing The People That You Are Making Money From.

Anti-smoking Sentiment Has Replaced Middle-class Morality Entirely. The Smoker Has Taken The Place Of The Homosexual. Today You Hear People Say Things About Smokers That Used To Be Said About Homosexuals - They Pollute The Environment; You Don't Want Them Around Your Children.