When I Was 23 I Started Writing

I Will Jump On Anybody's Private Plane At The Drop Of A Hat. I'm An Old-fashioned Lower-middle-class Boy.

Monty Python Paid Me £20,000 To Write, Direct And Assemble Them - The Cheapskates! I Told Them I'd Never Earned Less In A Year Since Leaving Cambridge. The First Show Sold Out In 43 Seconds And We Ended Up Performing Ten In Total. We Had No Idea There Would Be Such Demand.

I Used To Think I Was Like The Wicket- Keeper, Which Is Like The Catcher In Base- Ball, Y'know What I Mean? You Can Call The Play A Lot From Behind The Plate, Y'know What I Mean? You're Not Necessarily The Star, You're Not The One That Makes The Mark, But Usually In The End, You're Called Upon To Get A Run When It's Needed.

John Cleese Once Told Me He'd Do Anything For Money. So I Offered Him A Pound To Shut Up, And He Took It.

What's Brown And Sounds Like A Bell? Dung!