When I Was Born I Brought No

When I Was A Kid, I Never Went To Disneyland. My Ol' Man Told Me Mickey Mouse Died In A Cancer Experiment.

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.

When You Walk Up Five Flights Of Stairs At Four In The Morning, There's Definitely A Hooker Involved.

Sure I Smoked Pot In Hospital. My Wife Won't Let Me Toke At Home.

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.