When I Know Something I Like, I

We Sit At Our Consoles And Play "gears Of War", But We Don't See Images From War. We Don't Turn On The News And See The Evidence Of War, The Result Of War. Maybe Twice A Year, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, We'll Go Out, We'll Hang Our Flags, We'll Try To Inculcate In Our Children Some Sense Of National Honor For The Fallen. But Really, We Don't See It. We Just Don't See The Pictures. There's No Drive-by On The Freeway Of Death Up Close. So We Don't Really See Bravery.

I Don't Have Great Thighs. I Have Very Big Breasts And A Soft, Fatty Little Tummy. And I've Got Back Fat. People Assume That I'm Walking Around In Little Spaghetti-strap Dresses. It's Insidious - Glam Jamie, The Perfect Jamie, The Great Figure, Blah, Blah, Blah. And I Don't Want The Unsuspecting 40-year-old Women Of The World To Think That I've Got It Going On. It's Such A Fraud. And I'm The One Perpetuating It.

People Get Real Comfortable With Their Features. Nobody Gets Comfortable With Their Hair. Hair Trauma. It's The Universal Thing.

I Too Was A Little Embarrassed By My Recent Topless 'scandal' And The Subsequent Parodies.

I Believe That Life Is Hard. That We All Are Going To Walk Through Things That Are Hard And Challenging, And Yet Advertising Wants Us To Believe That It's All Easy.