When I Do Stand-up Shows At Colleges,

As A Kid, I'd Go Into The Bathroom When I Was Having A Tantrum. I'd Be In The Bathroom Crying, Studying Myself In The Mirror. I Was Preparing For Future Roles.

In High School I Wanted To Be A Rock Star And Was In A Lot Of Bands.

I've Always Liked Older Ladies, Ever Since My Mother Would Have B'nai B'rith At Our House.

The Idea Of My Kids Being Spoiled, I Go To Sleep Thinking About It. I Wake Up Thinking About. I'm Trying To Do The Right Thing. With The Amount Of Money I Have, It's Difficult To Raise Children The Way I Was Raised. But I Took Away The West And North Wing Of The House For Those Guys. So, They're Not Allowed In There.

I'm Not Great At Bedtime Stories. Bedtime Stories Are Supposed To Put The Kid To Sleep. My Kid Gets Riled Up And Then My Wife Has To Come In And Go, 'all Right! Get Out Of The Room.'