When I Become President, All You Assholes

What's Politically Correct A Lot Of Times Is Not Funny.

Peter Falk And Denis Leary Today Walked Into A Starbucks And Shot 27 People, Without Any Announcement Whatsoever.

If You See Me Doing A New Stand-up Special, It Probably Means I've Been Out Of Work For A While.

My Wife And I Were Poor When I Started But We Struggled Along Until Things Happened For Me In My Thirties. I Knew I Was Doing What I Loved Even If I Wasn't Getting Paid For It, So I Think I'd Still Be Doing It.

I Don't Want To See A 'sopranos' Movie. This Is Just Me. I Like To Think The End Is Where It Was On Tv As Opposed To Becoming A Movie.