Were Really Screwed Up, Aren't We?" "in

I Really Wouldn't Classify The Books As Mysteries. I Prefer To Say That They're Adventures.

I Paused For A Light At Hamilton And Twlfth And Noticed The Nissan Was Running Rough At Idle. Two Blocks Later It Backfired And Stalled. I Coaxed It Into The Center Of The City. Ffft, Ffft, Ffft, Kapow! Ffft, Ffft, Ffft, Kapow! A Trans Am Pulled Up Next To Me At A Light. The Trans Am Was Filled With High School Kids. One Of Them Stuck His Head Out Of The Passenger-side Window. "hey Lady," He Said. "sounds Like You Got A Fartmobile." I Flipped Him An Italian Goodwill Gesture And Pulled The Ball Cap Low On My Forehead. (three To Get Deadly)

I Mostly Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Peanut Butter And Banana, Peanut Butter And Jelly, Peanut Butter And Potato Chips, Peanut Butter And Olives, And Peanut Butter And Marshmallow Goo. So Sue Me, I Like Peanut Butter.

He's Going To Jail. He Can't See. He Can't Hear. He Can't Take A Leak That Lasts Under Fifteen Minutes. But He Has An Erection And All The Other Problems Are Small Change. Next Time Around I'm Coming Back As A Man. Priorities Are Clearly Defined. Life Is Simple.

I Don't Know Much About Cars," Joyce Said, "but I Think Someone Took My Engine.