We Have Fossils... We Win!

It's 2003. Why Can't I Teleport?

I've Got Stuff About Airline Mergers, Which Just Shows That My Stand-up Is Getting More Insane By The Minute.

I Don't Know If Watching Chaz Bono Will Turn Your Kids Into Transsexuals, But I'm Pretty Sure That Letting Them Watch Keith Ablow Will Turn Them Into Assholes

I Hammer On A Theme Until I'm Tired Of It And The Audience Is Tired Of It.

For A While, I Thought The Great Disappointment Of My Life Was That I Don't Have A Family Of My Own. Then It Dawned On Me: That's Not What I Think; That's What Married People Think.