We Don't Really Have To Make Fun

The Public Is Gullible. ... If [many Satirists Are] Making The Same Joke, That's The Danger. Then There's A Solidifying Effect And It Becomes A Truth.

I ... Would Guess Maybe About One Or Two Out Of Five Men Is Suited For Marriage And Probably Four Out Of Five Women Are Better At Marriage Than Being Single And Would Like To Be Married.

New Rule: President Bush Must Stop Acting Like We're The Idiots. He Gives Speech After Speech, And The Theme Is Always The Same; 'what Part Of Freedom Don't You Get, You Morons?'. I'll Answer That For You Mr. President. The Part Where You Give It To People By Blowing Them Up.

I Think America Causes Cancer, Longevity Is Less Important Than Fun, And Young People Should Be Discouraged From Voting.

I Always Say People Would Rather Be Nice Than Right. I Like To Be Nice Too, But Come On. People Frequently Ask Me, What Is My Definition Of Politically Correct. My Answer Is Always The Same: The Elevation Of Sensitivity Over Truth. People Would Rather Be Nice Than Right, Rather Be Sensitive Than True. Well, Being Nice And Sensitive Are Important, But They're Not More Important Than Being Right; They're Not More Important Than The Truth.