We Are All Precancerous.

When I Was Young I Used To Read About The Decline Of Western Civilization, And I Decided It Was Something I Would Like To Make A Contribution To.

I Went To My Old School, Where All The Kids I'd Been With For Eight Years Were About To Graduate. But The Sisters Wanted Me To Repeat The Whole Term; So I Went To The Principal And Pleaded With Her To Allow Me To Graduate With My Class. She Finally Agreed On The Condition That I Write The Graduation Play. It Was Called How Do You Spend Your Leisure Time?catchy Title, Huh?

One Of The First Things They Teach You In Driver's Ed Is Where To Put Your Hands On The Steering Wheel. They Tell You Put 'em At Ten O'clock And Two O' Clock. Never Mind That . I Put Mine At 9:45 And 2:17. Gives Me An Extra Half Hour To Get Where I'm Goin'.

Political Discourse Has Been Reduced To "where's The Beef?" "read My Lips," And "make My Day." Where Are The Assassins When We Really Need Them?

There May Or May Not Be Atheists In Foxholes, But I'm Certain There Are None In The Ku Klux Klan.