Wafah Dufour Bin Laden, Niece Of Osama

I Never Dreamed I Would Receive The Mark Twain Prize For American Humor, Mostly Because My Style Is So Typically Austrian.

I Had A Gentleman In College Tell Me, During A Date, That I Could Be Really Pretty If I Lost Some Weight. On A Date!

I Grew Up In A Family Of Republicans. And When I Was 18 And Registering To Vote, My Mom’s Only Instruction Was ‘you Just Go In And Pull The Big Republican Lever.’ That’s My Welcome To Adulthood. She’s Like, ‘no, Don’t Even Read It. Just Pull The Republican Lever.

Somewhere Around The Fifth Or Seventh Grade I Figured Out That I Could Ingratiate Myself To People By Making Them Laugh. Essentially, I Was Just Trying To Make Them Like Me. But After A While It Became Part Of My Identity.

Some People Say, “never Let Them See You Cry.” I Say, If You’re So Mad You Could Just Cry, Then Cry. It Terrifies Everyone.