Vampires. Honestly, They're Like Children Sometimes.

Dimitri: "why Did You Come Here?" Rose: "because You Hit Me On The Head And Dragged Me Here.

Come On! Don't Hold Back," Christian Said. "i'm Not, " Lissa Protested. "you Are Too! I've Seen You Knock On A Door Harder Than You're Hitting Me. " "that's A Ridiculous Metaphor. " "and, " He Added, "you Aren't Aiming For My Face. " "i Don't Want To Leave A Mark!" "well, At The Rate We're Going, There's No Danger Of That, " He Muttered

Yet, It Had Been Dimitri’s Gentleness And Thoughtfulness Mixed With That Deadliness That Made Him So Wonderful. The Same Hands That Wielded Stakes With Such Precision Would Carefully Brush The Hair Out Of My Face. The Eyes That Could Astutely Spot Any Danger In The Area Would Regard Me Wonderingly And Worshipfully, Like I Was The Most Beautiful And Amazing Woman In The World.

Doug Returned Five Minutes Later And Shook His Head. "sorry Kid. She's Single, But She Doesn't Think You're Her Type. She's Into The Goth And Vampire Scene. You're Too Mainstream For Her." I Was Sipping A Glass Of Water And Nearly Choked On It. "that," Said Peter, As Soon As Doug Was Gone, "is What We Call Irony." "how Is That Possible?" Exclaimed Cody. "i Am A Vampire. I Should Be Exactly What She Wants." "yeah, But You Don't Look Like One," I Said. If Gabrielle Had Been A Trekkie, He Might Have Had A Shot Tonight.

My Commentary's Hilarious, Not Witty.