Two Or Three Times A Week, I

A New Child In The House Is A Huge Tourist Attraction. It's Like Disneyland, Except There The Lines Are Longer And No One Brings Casseroles.

The Best Part Of Being Married Is... You Don't Have To Explain A Lot Of Things. Those Wordless Moments When You Both Know That What You Witnessed Together Is Funny, Idiotic, Or Really Sweet. Being Connected Is Pretty Miraculous.

Marriage Is Just An Elaborate Game That Allows Two Selfish People To Periodically Feel That They're Not.

When You Get Busy, The Priorities Change. In Your Twenties, You Hang Out With Who You Were In School With. Then You Grow Up And You Hang Out With The People You're Playing Ball With, Things You Like Doing With. When You Get Married, It Changes A Bit And You Lose Some Friends, Or You Gain Other Friends. You Gain Couple-y Friends. It Changes Again When You Have Children, And Then When Your Children Are The Focus Of Your Life.

I Can't Get Past The Fact That Food Is Coming Out Of My Wife's Breasts. What Was Once Essentially An Entertainment Center Has Now Become A Juice Bar.