Trust Ivrybody-but Cut Th' Cards.

Th' Dead Ar-re Always Pop'lar. I Knowed A Society Wanst To Vote A Monyment To A Man An' Refuse To Help His Fam'ly, All In Wan Night.

It Don't Make Much Difference What You Study, So Long As You Don't Like It.

There's Always Wan Encouragin' Thing About Th' Sad Scientific Facts That Come Out Ivrv Week In Th' Pa-apers. They're Usually Not Thrue.

High Finance Isn't Burglary Or Obtaining Money By False Pretenses, But Rather A Judicious Selection From The Best Features Of Those Fine Arts.

No, Sir, Th' Dimmycratic Party Ain't On Speakin' Terms With Itsilf. Whin Ye See Two Men With White Neckties Go Into A Sthreet Car An' Set In Opposite Corners While Wan Mutthers Thraiter An' Th' Other Hisses Miscreent Ye Can Bet They're Two Dimmycratic Leaders Thryin' To Reunite Th' Gran' Ol' Party.