Too Many People Don't Protect Their Smartphones

I Know That It's Probably Not A Good Idea For A Comedian, Especially A Satirist, To Support A Public Policy Group Or A Politician. This Is Something I Learned Only Too Well Years Ago When I Did A Fundraiser For Pol Pot. A Few Years Later I Saw 'the Killing Fields,' And I've Got To Tell You, I Just Felt Like A Schmuck.

I Want A President Who Can Handle A Cream Soda.

During The Reagan Administration, Bob Dole Was Present At A Ceremony That Included Each Living Ex-president. Looking At A Tableau Of Ford, Carter And Nixon, Dole Said, 'there They Are: Hear No Evil, See No Evil And Evil.'

Part Of The Middle Class Promise Is That, After A Lifetime Of Hard Work, You'll Be Able To Retire And Enjoy The Fruits Of That Labor. Medicare Was Established To Secure That Promise.

At 'snl,' I Wrote Political Stuff, But I Never Felt The Show Should Have An Axe To Grind. But When I Left In '95, I Could Let My Own Beliefs Out.