Tomorrow Is Your Future's Yesterday.

Gas Prices - It Is $6 A Gallon Here. People In L.a. Are Furious. You Can't Tell, Of Course, Because Of The Botox.

I Think I'll Be Scottish In Every Movie I Write. They Always Try To Talk Me Out Of It, But Woody Allen Is Always A Nebbish New Yorker. Why Shouldn't I Be A Goofy Glaswegian?

Don't Ever Rope Me In As A Late-night Talk Show Host. I Don't Want To Be One.

That's Why Credit Card Companies Are Evil. Are They Sponsoring The Show Tonight? ... They Are Evil.

Ros Was Dead. He Had Loved Heroin More Than It Loved Him. I Was Shocked Beyond Imagining; He Was The First Of My Friends To Fall.