Tomorrow Is Your Future's Yesterday.

By The Power Of Steven Wright's Beard!

I Didn't Flee A Dictator Or Swim An Ocean To Be An American Like Some Do. I Just Thought Long And Hard About It.

Self Help Books Are Pointless. Here's Something For You... Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, And Self Help Books Are From Uranus.

If Scotland And America Go To War, I'm Afraid I've Already Sworn In.

Its Easier To Feel A Little More Spiritual With A Couple Of Bucks In Your Pocket.