Today Is April 1, April Fools' Day,

According To A British Poll, You've Only Got A One In Five Chance Of Achieving Your Childhood Career Ambition. Which Probably Explains Why You Don't Run Into That Many Cowboys, Princesses, Or Space Rangers.

They Say That Most Airline Seats On Planes Today Are Meant For 170-pound Passengers. The Last Time The Average American Weighed 170 Pounds, The Wright Brothers Were Flying The Plane.

Services Were Held Today For Ken Lay - Convicted Thief And Crook Ken Lay.they Folded His Arms Across His Chest And Sowed His Sleeves Together So He Couldn't Put His Hands In Anyone's Pockets When They Walked By. You Know When They Say In A Eulogy, "you're All Richer For Having Known Him." I Don't Think They're Going To Hear That.

To Give You An Idea How Bad The American Economy Is, Mexico Is Now Calling For A Fence Along The Border. Stay On Your Side!

Here At Work, Obviously, I Make The Most Money Of Anyone On The Show, So I Try To Be The First One Here And The Last One To Leave. I Have The Crummiest Office. I Try To Balance Things Out, Spread It Around.