Today, If You're Not An Alcoholic, You're

I Wanted To Be A Radio Announcer.

I Never Wanted To Be An Actor And To This Day I Don`t. I Can`t Get A Handle On It. An Actor Wants To Become Someone Else. I Am A Song-and-dance Man And I Enjoy Being Myself, Which Is All I Can Do.

The Secret To Keeping Moving Is Keeping Moving.

I Married Somebody Half My Age, And Everybody Thought I Was Crazy, But She Is Just An Absolute Angel.

Only Funny Line I've Had Was My First Day On The Set Of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They Were Making Me Up, And I Saw The Director Call The Makeup Man Over, And He Says "what Are We Going To Do About The Hooter?" And The Makeup Guy Said, "i'm Not A Plastic Surgeon." So I Started That Show With A Big Nose, And Quite Conscious Of It.